perspective.

The ocean. 

It does something to the depth of my soul. I am in awe. Not in awe of the expanse, not in awe of the power, but in complete and utter awe of the One that made and designed the ocean.

When I stare into the vast stretch of the ocean I am taken away into a place that I do not know yet. I am reminded of an eternity that far outweighs this life. I am reminded of how small and seemingly insignificant I am. There is a book called Blue Like Jazz. (Probably one of my top 3 favourite books ever) and in this book, Donald Miller describes how we cannot and should not lose our “awe worship factor” of God. He specifically has created the world in such a way that keeps us wondering about Him. I never want to fully understand this world, the people and the intricacies of how it all functions so perfectly and precisely. Cause as soon as I understand, I won’t need God. And I want to be like a shoe that is created and formed perfectly by the expert craftsman. The shoe should never understand how it was made, there will never be the “on-the-same-level” relationship that so many people want to have with God.

I want to remain in awe. I want to continue to worship Him in the small and massive details of creation.

So in my smallness it does not make me feel purposeless or worthless, it actually does quite the opposite. I look off into the distance of the ocean that seems to have infinite length, and I realize that I am small. BUT there is the most beautiful, personal and intimate relationship to experience with the One that made that ocean, that made me and all the finite details of who I am. He longs for me. He designed influential plans for me. It is a wonder in itself that He is too big for me to comprehend and yet so personal to each one without partiality.

The ocean does something to my perspective, to the depth of my soul. 

Perfect.

He loves me perfectly. He is impeccable. He is purest of pure. He is the creator of the Universe. 

And HE loves me. 

He loves me when I make stupid mistakes. 

He loves me when I know what I “should” do and don’t do it. 

He loves me when I do the “right” thing with the wrong motive. 

He loves me when I worship Him and when I live a life that reflects Him. 

The most amazing thing about the love that God has for me is that it can’t grow and it can’t diminish. He loves me so much that there isn't even anymore love to have. He loved me the day He created the world. He loved me when HIS very own son was chosen to take MY place in receiving judgment for the ugliness that is inside of me. 

I know He loves me because I feel Him. 

I do not feel guilt or condemnation when I return to Him after making some bad decisions. It’s like He just stands there waiting for me with a quirky smile on His face longing to just embrace me again. 

And when I experience that crazy passionate love from God the whole world seems to grow dim. He becomes a drug to me… all I want and all I need.

God’s love for me woos the depths of my heart to stand in awe of Him. This whole thing is an experience to be had more than a process to understand. He comes in the most gentle and yet most zealous way and speaks to the very core of me words of life and destiny and hope and purpose.

I am amazed that I can feel so free in the love of God. There is a safe place for me to rest. His heart protects mine. So people can say what they may and do as they please but the unshakable foundation with which my heart rests is in God’s own love for me.