Consumed.

When we say ALL I WANT IS GOD…. do we mean it? Or is just some good thing to say?

Have you ever thought about what that REALLY insinuates? What you are truly saying?

There is a word that is fascinating to me. “consumed”. This word rings true in my heart of how I want to describe myself when think of the Spirit of God. I want to be “consumed” by Him.

But when I sit here and think about life and the things that I prioritize, think about, and just DO in my daily life, I wonder IF that is the deepest desire I have.

The Word says… where your heart is there your treasure will be also.

My “treasures”… meaning… my time, my energy, my thoughts, my money, really anything of any value to me. So where do I invest these? Where do I focus most of myself?

I think of the idea and the notion of God being my deepest desire. The desire to be utterly “consumed” by Him alone. The desire to love HIM above any other person or thing on this earth. The desire to be willing to be a fool for HIM if that is what He requires.

I can honestly say that I WANT that desire to be the MOST powerful thing in the depth of me.

So when I say ALL I WANT IS GOD… that is more of a goal for me, my aim, my direction. I am imperfect in too many ways to be fully honest in saying that HE IS my only desire. I want Him to be. And THAT is true. So I guess in some roundabout way He is then.

But I want to be expended for Him. I want to want Him more than ANY other.

To be consumed.

To be taken away with Him.

To be glued to and in AWE of the sound of His voice.

To be smitten over Him and His heart.

To be ruined for anything less than the reality of who He is to be revealed to me.

To be soaked in His presence.

To be THIRSTY for His embrace.

To be desperate for HIM.

To be full of hope and passionate for His Kingdom to come.

To be carried by His ways.

To be consumed. 

lower your nets

What are some of the “things” that would hinder us from obeying God fully?

I know that some of my hindrances may be fear of looking stupid, fear of the unknown results, my own self-doubt, or maybe even the lies other people have spoken over me. It’s a tough balance to have the deepest desire of my heart be to OBEY God at all costs and to also weigh up my own selfish desires and ideas.

I don’t want to keep them in balance actually. I want to be SOLD OUT. 

There is a scripture in Luke 5:5 where Simon is speaking with Jesus. Basically the short version of the story is these expert fishermen had been fishing and casting their nets the entire night with absolute minimal success. Then Jesus, a carpenter, comes to them and says that they should go out into the deep water and lower their nets for a catch. Simon’s response here is the most honest and beautiful depiction of surrender. He says, “Master we have worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. BUT BECAUSE YOU SAY SO, I will let down the nets.” Simon did not understand the logic or the reasoning behind this, BUT he was willing to obey. I can imagine him almost shaking his head not believing fully or doubting the words Jesus spoke, BUT he did it. He let go of his pride and own way of doing things and JUST FOLLOWED, just obeyed.

What areas in your life is God asking you to “lower your nets”? Maybe you are trying to do things in your own logic and understanding and God is trying to help you SEE that He is the One who knows best. Or maybe you are struggling with stepping out in faith for a big “gift” God has for you, and He is waiting with anticipation for you to just obey and do it!

I don’t know where you are at, but I can imagine that God is asking you in at least one area of your life to “lower your net”. I know He is asking me. To trust Him for something BIG, something better, and something that is OF HIM. Will you be like Simon and have your response be “but because You say so…”?

There is a risk when we obey God. But the beautiful thing about the heart of God is that every good and PEFECT gift comes from Him, who never changes. (James 1:17)

desert times...

Its s crazy thing sometimes when we look back at the tracks we have made in the sand of the desert we have just crossed. The tracks are normally quite deep and worn in… as we do not always come victoriously through the desert instantly. I know as I look back on the different times in my life I have felt the scorching sun beating and the hot winds blowing while I thirsted for something deeper and something greater than I had experienced before.

God leads us through some of the driest and darkest times of life… not so we suffer and not so we “learn our lesson” like a parent scalding their child. But so that we rely on Him. And more times than not it is ME who walks toward the desert, and it is Him who doesn’t leave me to walk it alone. It’s an amazing gift that He gives me. His very presence and His very self. It’s precious. It’s undeserved.

As I look back on the year I just lived I realize that I have walked through a few deserts. Difficult times. Not impossible, because here I am, but difficult.

Why do we so often choose to remain in a place of drought instead of trusting Jesus fully? It seems so much simpler to believe Him at His word, but we choose to take the tough road. Or shall I say, I choose the tough road. I want to be able to take lessons I have learned and apply them to each new circumstance in life.

Walking into His greatness is the most overwhelming beautiful experience to be had. He completely consumes my fears, He erases my doubts and He brings a peace that is indescribable. Even in the midst of the desert I can sense Him, feel Him. He promises to be the pillar of fire by night and the cloud by day, so we can follow Him. So I can follow Him.

Joshua 1:5b-7 “… as I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them.”

So I sit here and wonder, what deserts am I choosing? What areas of life am I electing to take the hard route?

There is a set of movies called Nooma. These dvd’s are inspiring, deeply powerful and so concise in describing incredible truths of God. There is one called “Storm”. This depicts a Father and Son going on a walk through a forest in the middle of a storm. The narrator of this dvd is the Father. He describes how his opportunity to hold his son as they made their way through the rain and storm was one of his most privileged and intimate moments with his son. He would never take it back.

There are so many times when I am walking through a storm of life and I begin to ask God, Why? And I begin to wonder if God cares for me. To question His love. I do not ever want to do that. God sees the opportunity to hold me CLOSE to His chest as a privilege and a great experience.

All we need is God’s heart beat pressed against ours in order to know that we WILL make it through.

The most remarkable fact of God is that He doesn’t allow us to walk through a desert or endure through a storm for nothing. He brings fruit, abundance and blessing after. When God takes away He always returns more, and when God endures with us He always rewards us with Himself. 

More than this...

I am sitting listening to the heart of a man who has found his passion. He dreams out of the box, he dreams bigger than he sees as possible. He has walked a long road, seen disappointment and felt heart ache and betrayal. And now he dreams. Now he longs for something else. The deepest cry in his heart is, ‘there’s gotta be more than this.”

Why is it that we so easily give up our passion and settle to do something that only pays the bills. Where is the adventure? Where is the willingness to fight for what we love?

The generation before was safe, and I fear that our generation is going to slip into the same obscurity. How do we stir up a gut-wrenching cry to fight for the big, the challenging, and the beautiful adventure that God has destined for us.

I long to be a woman that is known for living on the edge. I do not know where that desire will take me, but I do know that I am eager to see it, and utterly unwilling to relent to anything less than what God has for me.

My adventure cannot and will not ever be compared to another. For me, the adventure God has destined is unique. It’s something handcrafted and calculated just for me. What is an adventure for me may be a normal and mundane life for another, and what is mundane for me may be a total thrilling life for another.

All I know is that I want to do what is a passion for me. My desire is to be used by God, to impact lives, and to see God glorified. I know what God has put inside of me. I know what He has planted into my heart and until that very thing bears fruit I feel as though I am not fully living.

Not everyone understands, but everyone feels it when you’re stuck in a “job” and when you’re doing a menial task each day just to get the pay check at the end of the month; and hating each moment of it. You feel like a part of your heart has died. You feel like a piece of you is missing. Maybe you have never tasted true satisfaction from having the privilege of performing your passion everyday… maybe you have not been able to sacrifice money because there is too many other factors of responsibility involved. But I long to challenge that. I say, ask God for what HE has for you…  ask Him where HE sees you. And if you follow HIS leading, no sacrifice of things here and now will every lead you to lack. God always returns more and abundantly when we are willing to walk on water for HIM.

So my question remains, how do we live for more than this? 

Let's take a walk...

1John 1:17 “the world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.”

This life is fleeting.

I sit here with this question resonating in my heart… What are we really living for?

I want to live for the will of MY Jesus! I want to be someone who at the end of my life, whenever that may come, is known as someone who lived sold out, flat out and fully for God. I want to risk. I want to step out of boat and walk on water, not just once as a cool story of what happened to me back in the day, but as a very normal activity of my life.

There is a scripture in the beginning of Matthew where Jesus picks his disciples. I can imagine that this was a pretty crucial decision and massive moment in the history of the world and for the rest of eternity, really. The first scripture in that day was one that describes Jesus’ actions. What impresses me and actually makes me stand in awe is where in Matthew 4:18 it says, “As Jesus was walking beside the sea…” I can fancy this being a normal activity for Jesus, he probably walked there often. But this day was different. He had an urgency in His Spirit, He knew God wanted to do something big.

There is a phrase that I have heard many times, and I strive to be just this… Naturally Supernatural.  Jesus in His very natural activity was totally and utterly supernatural. Not freaky. Not weird for the sake of being weird. He just lived a life that was yielded to His Father. I want moments of “just taking a walk” that change eternity in my own life. I want to be so inclined to my Father’s voice that I can only but obey and act and do!

So I began by saying, the world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever. And again I ask what are we living for? I never want to be so caught up in this world that I get blinded to what God may be requiring of me, to either do or to give up or to step out in faith for.

I want to be known as Megan, the Woman who Walks on Water. And that is totally weird, that is totally freaky, but when I am inclining my ear to God’s… it is actually totally natural, and fully supernatural. I believe with my entire being that God’s heart is for the broken, the lost and the needy. So in my living I want to attract those. I want to draw the downcast, the disillusioned and the unsaved to a Savior who adores them and loves them and longs for them.

This world is crying out from the deepest part of their hearts for someone who SEES them and loves them completely, and I know that Jesus when He was walking along the sea that day, He SAW those men. He saw them with eyes from Heaven, through Heaven tinted glasses.  He was very casually and naturally living a supernatural life. That is my desire.

Let’s live in this world, but not be so caught up with it. Let us live free from the hinges of the enemy. Let us live this fully natural and supernatural life simultaneously. Let us “take a walk” for God, every day. 

DREAM BIG

I dream of being used beyond what’s comfortable.

I dream of seeing miracles performed through me.

I dream of people forgetting me and remembering Jesus.

I dream of going places where Jesus is not known.

I dream of seeing religion dead and grace alive.

I dream of knowing my saviour as my BEST friend.

I dream of walking on water with my eyes fixed.

I dream of being so completely sold out that NOTHING else matters.

I dream of going to nations for His name’s sake.

I dream of a life that is never mundane.

I dream of a passion that is evident in every word.

I dream of being a friend that challenges the ordinary.

I dream of preaching to 1000’s and seeing God move.

I dream of hearing God and directly obeying.

I dream of never being so caught up with this world.

I dream of making a difference.

I dream of being Jesus to the broken hearted.

I dream of seeing Him come back.

I dream of living the absolute adventure that He has planned for me.

I dream of going…being sent… and being God’s answer to the prayers of people.

How do we deal with and get through a storm?

I’m not sure that we are supposed to just “get through” a storm. I have come to realize, mostly the hard way, that storms are usually God ordained moments He desires to reveal His deity and power 

in my life.

I have been through some storms where it feels like the boat I am in would capsize. And in the end I have clung to and reached out to my saviour with more fervour and passion than in the serene moments of my life.

I was reading through Mark. And I love how Mark makes it so personal when he describes Jesus and His activities.

This incident in Mark 4 we see the disciples and Jesus in a boat going to the other side of the Sea of Galilee. Apparently, the Sea of Galilee was prone to sudden intense storms occurring and this time it was no exception. The disciples were trying to control the boat and the problems that were being caused by the storm, and then realized that they NEEDED Jesus. They didn’t even ask Him for help. They actually accused Him of not caring about them.

I have so often been in this place. When I feel like God has led me to cross a “sea” and then a storm comes up and I feel He’s “sleeping”. I feel like God left me stranded. Or He has forgotten about me. I have often called out to God in my disappointment or frustration and I have cried out to Him in those moments from the depth of myself like I never did before.

Jesus’ response to the Disciples in this scenario is amazing. He does not panic. He does not even get angry. He commands the stillness and peace to come. And He simply asks them why would they fear? And where is their faith?

He questions them, I believe, because HE IS THERE. They know Him. They have SEEN who He is. Why would they now be afraid of a storm?

How often I have gotten so afraid of the circumstances I find myself in. How often I have doubted who GOD IS in the midst of difficulties.

His other response is SO reassuring for us as believers. He says, “do you still have no faith?” I feel like Jesus was conveying the reality of the POWER of the faith He gives us. He has told his disciples so often if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move a mountain. And now they are faced with a storm that SEEMS to be overwhelming and they lose their faith, or forget it when they need it most.

We all face storms. I have faced some I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. And I know my storms do not even begin to compare with some people’s storms they have faced and survived! But I do know that when a storm is approaching I want my response to be unwaiveringly pointed toward my saviour. TRUSTING and KNOWING that HE has the power to calm any storm and get me through ANY difficulty! Sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child.

God allows storms in our lives SO THAT we SEE and experience HIS power in our lives. We have the responsibility to SEEK Him when the storms come.

i found IT!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

This verse has become a sort of theme for me. There have been many times when God is requiring something of me that I do not understand and that is not logical, but as I TRUST in Him, He leads, directs and provides for me in every way possible.

This season is no different. It’s funny, I speak to people and in their good intentions, they seem to almost think I am “searching” for something and that is why I like to move and am willing to uproot life again! But I have to say… the reason why I do the changing and am more than willing to obey God at His word in any adventure, is because I HAVE found something. I am not still searching. I am secure in the prize that I sought after and have found.

It doesn’t make sense that a single woman would be willing to relocate and uproot and adjust her entire life for the sake of God’s call. But can I tell you, I would do nothing else! If God asks something of me… I want to be a woman who will NOT hesitate no matter the extremity of the obligation.  God is the One who makes sense of my life. He gives me purpose and reason.

As I walk this crazy journey of twists and turns I will acknowledge the amazing things that God does! I will reveal His purpose, His plan, His ways!! His word is true to me when He says “acknowledge the Lord and He WILL make your paths straight”. I want to give the glory and praise to Him for what He does in me and through me! The adventure that He takes me on actually has nothing to do with me. If I wasn’t willing to go, He would fulfil His purposes with another person. But man, I would be miserable and I would miss out on some of the most incredible and deep lessons of life.  And I am not like any other person on the face of the planet, and God longs to use ME. I would never give that privilege to another.

God in His goodness has put in me a deep desire to see His life reflected off of me. There is nothing that I want and crave in this world more than that. I want it so bad sometimes that I am willing to give up, let go of, and release anything that may dim His reflection. This process of purifying Him in my life is not easy and I definitely do not always get it right, but the core of me longs for just that. His life revealed in mine perfectly and beautifully.

So when people say “I hope you find what you are looking for” I simply smile and know that I have found HIM. He is mine and no person and no thing can ever take Him from me. He is my peace, my stability, my home and my everything. I do not look to this world to make a “home” for me. It is a sweet notion, but honestly the depth of my heart is at home wherever God takes me… as long as I have His presence with me, I am home.

He is my prize, He is my all, my home.

the indescribable LOVE... that is mine.

I will endeavor to describe a love that is beyond description and beyond human words.

Your love fights for the woman who is broken.

Your love pursues the orphan who knows nothing of a dad.

Your love comforts the man who has lost everything to a world that does not know love.

Your love speaks to the deaf girl who has never heard another sound.

Your love challenges the boy who is stuck in mediocrity.

Your love is abounding to those who feel an empty whole inside.

Your love reveals the heart of a friend to the person who has been betrayed.

Your love captivates the life that has drifted their gaze to this world.

Your love is beyond description. It is all things in every situation.

Your love is something I will never fully grasp and will forever seek after.

Your love has no conditions and is never used as a weapon of manipulation.

Your love is beauty of the purest kind.

Your love fights for the weak and stands in defence of the guilty.

Your love perseveres through the deepest rejection and pain.

Your love will never let go; it will never give up.

Your love calls one to live a life that is big and full and adventurous.

Your love covers shame and hides nakedness.

Your love is something I need.

Your love provides for every need and knows the tiniest most intimate desires.

Your love is crazy and consistent.

Your love sees the heart of a woman who has cried more tears than any woman should.

Your love hears the longings of a man who is driven to be accepted.

Your love carries a baby who has only known rejection.

Your love is supernatural.

Your love is given freely and abundantly.

Your love is mine.