Today I turn 30. I don’t feel old. I don’t FEEL 30. I remember
thinking that 30 was SO old when I was younger.
I’m contemplating the last decade of my life.
It is utterly different than I ever could have imagined it
would be. When I was 20 I had dreams and
I had ideas about how my life would turn out. And I can say that it is really not
anything like that idea I had in my mind.
What I do know though, is that it has been BETTER than I could
have planned for myself.
I humbly reminisce the last 10 years… some of the things I have been able to do….
Graduated from
University with a degree in Psychology.
Lived in 3 countries.
Experienced loneliness.
Gotten to know my own
determined strength.
Begun a career as a high school teacher.
River rafted down the Grand Canyon.
Traveled to 11 countries
or so.
Experienced deep joy
and satisfaction.
Gone skydiving.
Assisted in leading
youth groups around the world.
Been restored and
healed.
Gotten to know God’s
SUPERNATURAL provision out of nothing.
Fallen in love.
Seen desperation in the eyes of impoverished people.
Had minor surgeries.
Started (still in process)
of getting my Master’s in Psychology.
Gotten 4 tattoos (and more to come).
Gained friends around
the world that have changed me and altered my life forever.
Done “big” work and
done very small menial tasks.
Impacted those I have
had the chance to know.
Died my hair with multiple colors, grown it out, cut it short and repeated that.
Learned cultures that
are not my own.
Rode horseback through the rural country in Mongolia with the nomads.
Obeyed God as best as
I could.
Sitting here and thinking of all these things and listing
them is NOT out of arrogance or boasting! It is actually SO incredibly humbling
to realize how God can ONLY get the glory for my life. When I was 20 years old I
had such a small view of what God could do and what His heart for me was. I imagined
a very boring and mediocre life for myself. I have been amazed and thrilled at
the adventure that God has taken me on! I would not change one minute of
anything that has happened to me. I have experienced difficult and challenging
things and I have had the privilege of living in the complete and beautiful
abundance of life! The difficult moments have shaped me and the abundant times
have deepened me.
When I dream of what the future holds I cannot even begin to
see it. I have this sense in my heart
that “the best is yet to come” and that is exciting!
What I know of Jesus is that He never disappoints or lessens
who we are. A scripture that has been a defining theme for me over the years is
Psalm 84:5-8…
Blessed are those
whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baka (tears or pain),
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from STRENGTH TO STRENGTH,
till each appears before God in Zion
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baka (tears or pain),
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from STRENGTH TO STRENGTH,
till each appears before God in Zion
This scripture gives me hope that the next decade of my life
will be even greater than the last! It will look different, take on a different
shape and form BUT it will be a strengthening and it will be a progressive
adventure!
I have big dreams. I have seen God fulfill and surpass my
dreams in ways I NEVER would have imagined!! So I can now go wild in my
dreaming! Ephesians 3:20 “…to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than
all we ask or imagine…”! He is not intimidated by my big dreams, because I
believe His dreams for me and what He has for me will go even further and be
even greater than my craziest imaginations.
I never want to limit what God can do and what He wants to
do in me and through me! I want to fulfill ALL that He has for me… this
requires sacrifice and it requires obedience… but those are easy when I have my
eyes FIXED on Jesus! Fixing my eyes on Him is the key… that’s not always easy.
I want to not look at the storms that may rise around me as I
am walking on water… I want to be SO sure and SO confident in His voice that I will
step out of any boat I am in so that I can feel His power working through me. (Matthew 14:22-33)
So may this next decade reflect Jesus’ heart for me and may I
live FULLY never minimizing what God’s dreams are for me!
